Waste not, want more

No variations on a theme.

It’s not me, it’s him.

So, you know when everything’s going well with someone new? You have overlapping interests and different experiences to share. Personalities mesh. Tips on good stores, camping spots, websites, concerts, restaurants and sales. Personalities really mesh. Laughs are shared. Personal moments discussed. You go on a couple of test outings to see if your relationship withstands social pressures (is she rude to servers? does she throw stones at children?). It does. You help them with a small project just because. You haven’t felt this way in some time. You’d forgotten what it’s like to meet a kindred spirit, a bosom buddy.

And then, it happens. You invite her and her partner to have dinner with you and yours. There’s excellent food, good conversation, talk of a group road trip, potential dates are tossed around. After a lovely evening, they leave, warmed and fed, with a new recipe or two. But all is not well. You call and leave a message about a possible hike. You wait two days, 5. Nothing. You send a follow up email in case something happened to the message. You run into them downtown only to be avoided like a former teacher that doesn’t know when to end a conversation. You bring up the road trip only to see awkward looks and shifty feet. You go home, reflect and realize: it’s OVER.

What happened? You were interesting, funny, thoughtful. You not only like her, you like her partner too. OH.    You realize…slowly…your partner didn’t make the cut. A mistake? Some Seinfeld nose scratching taken for picking? Scratching gone bad? Some sort of washroom issue? Was it one of those quasi-redneck jokes that only work when people know the person well enough to know they’re not serious? Was he sniffing shoes while you weren’t looking? Or just unsuitable for companionship?

Well, it couldn’t be me.

You’ll never know. And that kindred spirit is sowing her oats elsewhere.


April 24, 2010 - Posted by | Hypotheticals, Mr. Lonely


  1. I’ll be there soon, even though only for the amount of days I’m able for… there can be nose picking, shoe smelling, or whatever else strikes any fancy with no judgement and I’ll always come home to you.

    ❤ to you and just remember— it happens to the best of people. And you are my BESTEST.

    Comment by Katie Chipman | April 26, 2010 | Reply

    • Don’t I know it – thanks, Kate.

      Comment by roseflux | April 26, 2010 | Reply

  2. […] Either way, the flops can be frustrating. Especially the flops you like the most. My first flop, It’s Not Me, It’s Him, was also my very first post, so no big surprise there. It was about a (purely fictional – ha) […]

    Pingback by 7 Ways to Leave Your Lover Wondering What You’ve Been Doing with Your Time « Waste not, want more | January 5, 2012 | Reply

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