Waste not, want more

No variations on a theme.

Blog Angst

I’m experiencing my first case of blog angst. My random thoughts feel too scattered, useless, or self-absorbed to share; they have more or less since school started which admittedly was only days after said blog started (it started itself, don’t you know?). I have fleeting blog thoughts or ideas for deep and delicious mega-posts that require some level of consciousness beyond my current state. I am torn between my need to produce something and my desire not to say crap that I won’t care about five minutes from now. I recognize that others just write what they feel like if they feel like it, but I’ve chosen not to go that route because I know I’ll despise it later. I like to only commit to WWW or paper things that I don’t mind reading again later. I’ve done lots of the other stuff in the past.

This is also the second post where I’ve managed to blame school in some manner. It’s not really about school; it’s about the mental energy that I have left to dedicate to something else. I see myself as having a set number of arms with a set number of tea cups I can carry water in (an aquarian water-bearer after all) at any given time. Putting another cup on my head is just not worth the mess I later have to clean up – and yes, usually the mess consists of puddles on the floor, though not so much china.

I don’t see myself as overloaded, or having more than average baggage, actually to prevent disaster and find balance I tend to keep things simple. But that doesn’t prevent me from feeling maxed out. I need a higher than average amount of time for reflection, home upkeep, and “relationship management” – haha, romantic. Just imagine if I also wore makeup or kept up on phone calls.

Little alleviates this feeling more than crossing things off a list. Moving and completing a paper will probably help quite a bit. Hopefully I can do both of those in the next month!

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June 1, 2010 - Posted by | Irritated

2 Comments »

  1. Deep and delicious mega-post? Like a “Deep & Delicious” (TM) mega-post?! That cake is coming back to haunt you again!

    And as far as blogging goes, just run with it! I, for one, appreciate blogging for its ability to capture a whole range of thoughts and feelings– the whole spectrum between Deep Thoughts and Flittering Ideas. I actually avoid reading blogs that are nothing but heavy posts, one after the other, which require more than average brain power to comprehend, let alone to comment on. Blogging (writing posts or reading them) provides a refreshing break in the middle of the morning, and I say ANGST BE GONE. I will read your posts no matter what they say.

    Comment by Dana | June 2, 2010 | Reply

    • Yay – the encouragement is helpful! Though I do feel like that’s easy for you to say, Madame of the Entertaining Post. 🙂

      Comment by roseflux | June 2, 2010 | Reply


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